I find most people fall into one of two categories when they walk into a room; either they feel like the vinyl of the record came to a screeching halt and everyone stopped in their tracks the moment you walked in (so they could size you up,) or, you walked into the room and absolutely nobody acknowledged your presence. As in, ever.
Sometimes, there’s nothing more scary than walking into a room full of people when you are only connected to one or two of the entire guest list. You know that feeling… you walk into the room, scan frantically trying find the one person you know while trying desperately not to break a sweat in your inconvenient places so that you’ll have at least one person to talk to. Maybe you’ve even pulled the old “whip out the phone” and pretend to answer a text or email that was suddenly of the utmost importance, just to avoid the awkward “don’t know anyone” feeling?
It’s as if acceptance only comes from having a rushing, gushing crowd of people who love us bowl us over the minute we walk into a room.
So why do we constantly feel the need for stranger’s acceptance? Why does the look on someone’s face when we walk into a room decide how great we feel (or not so great) about our appearance or outfit, or how well the entire evening is going to go? How do complete strangers or acquaintances have that much power over us?
Why does the shiny car that cuts us off in traffic seem so personal and send us into truck driver language tirades? (Or is it just me?)
Why does the mom who doesn’t ask you to join her carpool when she literally has to pass by your house cause you to feel utterly rejected and left out?
Why are marriages holding on by a thread with both spouses keeping some secret scorecard of “mess ups?”
Because we’re looking to the wrong sources for our soul to be loved.
We’re putting expectations onto people that we need to be putting onto God.
People aren’t responsible for loving us, affirming our value and filling up our soul….God is. And when we look to people instead of God….and they let us down (which they will,) we take it personally.
Most of the time, we run around on empty (physically, mentally and spiritually) which leaves us like a kite in a Texas thunderstorm, whipped about at the mercy of others, which means we are not grounded in truth, that’s for sure!
But what if we looked to God for our fill? What if we looked to his love to give us the same satisfaction as a Summer moon coffee on a ragged afternoon? What if we stopped long enough to listen to God tell us how much he loves us before we started our day.
What a difference our day would be if we STARTED knowing we could live loved?
If we change our thinking and beliefs, then people’s reaction to us is really of no importance. When we live loved, we realize that most everything that is reflected to us, has NOTHING to do with us. When we live loved, the emptiness of others is actually illuminated and we can love on them….because we aren’t operating with a finite amount of supplies…. We can “spare some change” in the currency of love…. of kindness……of compassion……of mercy….. because we can go back to the well of unfailing Love from God whenever we need it.
You have to remind yourself to live loved. Daily. The mind wants to bring in all of the baggage of the past and you have to fight it with repeated reminders that you are fully loved.
So right now, stop scrolling and set your timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and think about how much God loves you. Not your mistakes, not your to-do list, not how much your spouse is letting you down. Think about how much God loves you and live from there.